Another Step Closer to Rock Bottom

This entry was posted by on Thursday, 3 May, 2012 at

I didn’t think it was possible for things go get worse but they have. She has informed me we are months behind in our mortgage and out of money. At this point we have exhausted our resources.

I honestly do not know what we’re going to do to solve thiis problem. She is a mess and getting worse. I’m frightened she will commit suicide or will end up instutionalized. I’m also scared we will not recover from this setback.

If we don’t get help from someone soon we will not be able to keep our house or feed our children or provide them with health care. These are the real consequences of the Bull Dog’s depradatons.

Kama is a tricky thing. According to Zen teaching, this situation is a result of dependent origination, which makes it our fault as much as yours. But I think that’s bullshit. We  did not deserve this fate.  She worked tirelessly for many years to sustain and grow the organzation. Those years of service should have accrued enough good will to protect her from the Bull Dog.

There’s something fundamentally bankrupt about the whole affair. How could you and your colleages allow the Bull Dog to succeed? How could you turn your backs with no thought to the effects on her, me, and our children?

There are children involved. The Bull Dog’s depredations t will affect them for their whole lives, whether it’s college loan debt or mistrust of others or resenting their parents for failing to overcome this setback.

It’s bizzare to me that I even think of you–especially since you made a pass at her.  I think I have a fantasy that if I keep on writint  you’ll eventually apologize and convince ther others to take moral and financial responsibility for your failure to protect her from the Bull Dog.

Fantasies are just that. Make believe. Mirages. Figments. Unfortunately that’s sll I can see right now.

Leave a Reply